November 6, 2011
Today I was reminded of my mother’s favorite prayer:
“God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, courage to change the things and I can and wisdom to know the difference.”
I think this prayer probably works for most in many situations, it worked for me when my mother passed away as both a mantra and way of coping and I now find that my strength is found once again in this simple but powerful prayer.
I constantly search and pray for serenity and peace in life for those things that are beyond my control. I am not sure when acceptance and serenity with my daughter’s diagnosis will ever occur. I have accepted that it has happened to us – that is a fact that cannot be changed or challenged. I find full acceptance hard to manage because of the lack of understanding of why this happened to our family or why it happens to any family. In today’s world it is so hard to understand why modern science still doesn’t have a clear understanding of how this disease picks its targets or how to cure it.
Courage is something that most people find hard and I find that I have to pull from my daughters, son and husband daily. Courage to speak up to someone that doesn’t understand and has a comment for me that is inaccurate about my daughter's disease. Courage to write about my inner thoughts and feelings most of us keep hidden at home daily on a blog I send out to the world of the internet. Courage to ask for help and to give help when needed. Courage to step back and let my kids grow up and be the strong people they will be without me hovering. Courage to try to make a difference – every day in some way.
Knowing the difference is also a challenge but one I am trying to grasp – I cannot change the fact this disease has happened to our family but I can make sure I have the courage to speak out about it, like this blog.
I am glad I had my mother to teach me that not everything in life is fair or easy to deal with but through the passion of conviction and prayer you can slowly accept the world around you and find the courage in yourself to wake up every day and face the challenges of your life. She also taught me that you need to understand when you need to simply sit and listen and when you need to stand up and fight for more. I hope that all my kids learn these skills and carry with them the compassion and passion to help themselves and all those around them no matter what challenge they face.
Until there is a cure,
Jennifer
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