I think most of us at certain moments find ourselves looking back in time at how we have arrived at certain points in our lives. In looking back we see the roads we chose or possibly the roads we were given without choice. I am at this moment looking back - I am not at all where I thought I would be but I couldn't imagine being anywhere else.
I made choices in my past that lead me here - I moved to D.C. for someone else but I found my soul mate. I moved to the Eastern Shore of Maryland to raise a family and found a community of people that I cherish. Having my mom move in with us upon her retirement - an idea of my husbands - gave me the last year's of my mom's life - so many moments a that will always be cherished in my mind. Changing my career path for one of less travel allowing me to be at home and more involved with my kids activities allowed me a feeling of fulfillment. All these were decisions I made on my own - a road I choose each time.
But, what has changed me the most is the road that I did not choose - the road we were forced down on May 1 of 2011. The day in my life that altered everything. EVERYTHING. That day when my daughter was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes - my career, my friends, my family life, every part of who I was changed. I no longer focused on where I was going, where I wanted to be in my life. I started focusing on what I could do to help. How I could help my daughter deal day in and day out with this disease, help others that were forced down the same road as us grasp and understand the new world around them, help raise awareness to everyone I knew and met, educate the world about what it is like to live 24/7 with type 1 diabetes, to motivate others to get involved, become an advocate for the cause and raise money for continued research for a cure and better management.
This road changed the person I was in so many ways - I no longer mind talking to groups and crowds of people, I don't mind asking a million questions of our health care professionals, I want to teach the world about this disease and educate the uninformed and I no longer mind begging people for money.
I see my children differently - every moment is a gift.
I see my husband differently - his strength and humor get everyone through the hard days.
I see my life differently - I no longer care about a career or money or those things that motivated me just two short years ago.
I would give anything to not be on this road, to not make my daughter have to go through her daily struggles with diabetes, but at the same time the people I have met along it, the person I have become, I would not want to loose. Each day I am humbled by what I still don't know about this new world of ours and amazed at the young men and women that deal with this disease are able accomplish in their lives despite it.
I cannot change this road - I cannot choose another at this moment - so I will continue down this road not chosen and hope it continues to make me stronger, more humble and that I can give back to the world as I wait for my next opportunity to choose a road. Maybe our next road will be the one with a CURE and I will diverge back to where I was in May of 2011- here's hoping for that!!!
Until there is a cure,
Jennifer
