November 1, 2011
I put this blog together back in May – but never got around to writing anything – I felt like maybe I should start now – why you ask – here you go:
Today is T1Day which stands for Type 1 Diabetes Awareness Day – the month of November is Diabetes Awareness Month. Why do I care? It was six months ago today that my daughter Allison (Allie) was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. I cannot believe it has actually been six months – seems like yesterday - but at the same time feels like it has always been a part of our lives, I have a hard time remembering what our life was like before diagnosis. Interestingly it is similar to how I felt after each of our children were born – seems like only yesterday Ryan (our oldest) was a baby but like he and his sisters have always been a part of our lives.
Today will be about the diagnosis week so you have the background of where it all started for us.
It seems like yesterday that we were walking mindless into our pediatrician’s office with Allie and her symptoms (weight loss, extreme thirst and constant bathroom needs) – very unaware of what the next full week was going to entail! She peed on a stick and the doctor shook her hand (while leaning in to smell her breath – I didn’t know that was what he was doing – but now I do). This took all of 5 minutes then we were led into his office. I didn’t know doctor’s actually had nice offices except on TV – I never had anything worthy of the comfortable chairs – only the plastic covered exam room chairs for me during my life time. The comfortable chair didn’t help any but I suppose that was the purpose of taking us into his office (while Allie waited in the exam room with the nurse.)
The doctor said these words “there is no question to me that Allison has diabetes” – he kept talking but at that moment I had my head fill with disbelief and became completely unaware of anything else he was saying or anything going on around me. After what seemed like forever I snapped back to hear the words “emergency room immediately” and then “transport via ambulance to Baltimore” and “pediatric ICU” and the words “probably for a week”. My response was “okay” – no questions, nothing – I had nothing to say – probably because I had NO IDEA what was happening or going to happen.
We didn’t go immediately to the emergency room – we took Ryan home – changed our clothes and then went to the emergency room. She was brought in and they did a urine test and then a blood sugar test – she had a blood sugar of 654. My response – “okay, how bad is that?” There response: “Well we would like to see it between 80-150 so 654 is high and she has an extremely high level of keytones so we agree with your pediatrician on the diagnosis.” My response to that was “okay.” We stayed there for a few hours waiting on the transport to take us to Baltimore – and I tried to use my Smartphone to search for diabetes and keytones – not much luck understanding why my daughter had diabetes!
Type 1 diabetes wasn’t really sad out loud to me until the transport team arrived – oh I thought there are different types of diabetes – “okay”.
Why was everything “okay” with me – it wasn’t on the inside – I think I was trying to be strong for Allie and not let her see I was clueless and shaking on the inside with so many emotions I didn’t know what I was really feeling. We spent a little over 24 hours in the pediatric ICU – a place I NEVER want to visit again – I was in a constant state of prayer for understanding and for all those around me during this time – never willing to leave my daughters side.
It was in the PICU that two nurses helped me realize I had NO idea what was happening – they printed off a PowerPoint and information about Type 1 diabetes and what was happening to my daughter what was and needed to happen – the doctor’s not so much help – and we didn’t see a diabetes educator until about 24 hours into the situation. I owe a lot to those two nurses who tagged teamed to help me through a moment in time that understanding is what I needed most. They offered their time to make sure I had it along with websites I could visit – like the American Diabetes Association – and click on Type 1 – that is when my Smartphone actually started helping me!
We spent the next few days watching videos, learning about carbs and sugars, how to measure insulin, how to prick a finger and test blood sugar, how to stick a needle into our daughter – Allie actually laughed at me the first time I tried this, I did have to stick her twice to get the insulin in so it was a little funny for her - not so funny for me. We learned how to be amazing mathematicians and we learned that our daughter Allie was strong and self sufficient and my new hero.
We went home and then went to the school the next day for a conversation – we are BLESSED in our school – Allie had the MOST amazing teacher for kindergarten who was more helpful than words can describe - without realizing it she gave me strength and made Allie feel comfortable. The school nurses were also amazing and gave me peace of mind that our daughter was going to be just fine and happy and healthy under their watch – we are BLESSED with our school!
It is hard to relive that week but at the same time is something I will never forget – much like you never forget where you were when Kennedy was shot or the planes hit the towers – it is forever engrained in my memory. The feelings, the emotions, the questions, the not understanding what was happening around us – a moment in time forever frozen in time in my subconscious. The questions and not understanding the why this happened are still a part of our everyday life.
The following months have all been learning and understanding how what we eat affects us and our blood sugars, what can we do to help find a cure, and making sure that everyone that touches our lives know that this happened to our family and that they too can help – if only that when they are around Allie their knowledge of her disease could save her life.
I am going to start using this blog to tell you stories about our life – that of Allie, her brother Ryan and her sister Sammie and all that we will go through or the rest of our lives now that Type 1 Diabetes is a part of it – some of these will be lighthearted and funny – some will not be – I hope you take a the time to read the blog to get a sense of what we have gone through and will continue to go through.
Until there is a cure,
Jennifer
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