May 1 is coming soon – why does that date matter? Well it was on May 1, 2011 that Allison was diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes. As I am planning the party/fundraiser to mark the event I can’t help but keep thinking back on the past year and that day in our lives. I know that every single person and family that has been diagnosed with this disease knows their exact date and place and the whole story that goes along with their diagnoses – it is a scary and crazy moment that you just can’t forget.
I will probably write about memories of those moments in my blog more than once in the coming month but as I was sitting at my computer this morning prepping letters and counting the NUMBER of people I am sending the letters to for our event I started thinking how our lives for the past year has centered around “NUMBERS.”
Everything to do with this disease is about NUMBERS - test your blood sugar, measure your carbs and do the ratio of insulin to carbs, sheets of data and information of numbers - I never realized how much numbers could mean in your life.
The first thing Allison does when she wakes up is finds out what her NUMBER is (referring to her blood glucose), then she counts the carbs for her breakfast (more NUMBERS), then we figure out how much insulin she needs (more NUMBERS). I count out her lunch carbs for her school lunch (more NUMBERS) and send in a list of NUMBERS for her snacks and if there are different times for her to test based on this day’s learning of her disease (more NUMBERS). (We are new to the pump so we are still trying to “learn” the best settings for her for each hour and how all the foods she eats affects her blood sugars!)
Then she is off to school and tests for her NUMBER on a schedule that is about once every hour and a half and verifies the NUMBER of carbs in her lunch and snacks and the NUMBER for her insulin dosage. She tests for her NUMBER when she gets home from school and her after school snack carb NUMBER. Then the dinner routine of testing for her NUMBER, counting the carb NUMBER and then the insulin NUMBER. Before bed we test again for her NUMBER and then we test her at midnight and three am for more NUMBERS. Then the next day starts and we start all over again with NUMBERS! It is crazy how many numbers we have each day! Since the pump our numbers seem more organized because they are all processed electronically and I don’t have to type them into a spreadsheet (awesome!) but I look at these numbers when I download them and it is amazing how many there are!
We never purchased items based on NUMBERS before – now I look at them (not everything but a lot of things.) Carbs make a difference, for instance one of her favorite things is pre-packaged peaches – they come in three varieties now - peaches in water, peaches in juice or peaches in gel and they are all VERY different in carb number and that number affects all of her other NUMBERS so we buy the peaches in juice (she doesn’t care for the water ones although I wish she would eat those instead so many less carbs!!)
We never weighed or measured food before – now we own a fancy scale and measure all the fruits, veggie and other items that can’t be measured and we measure all other items by the ¼, ½, or 1 cup that goes onto her plate (and her siblings plates – to be fair everyone gets the same amount). More NUMBERS for measuring and counting. Adding in some fiber helps her NUMBERS (both her blood glucose and her Carb NUMBER) so now I look for items that are enriched with fiber. We don’t stay away from items kids love but her NUMBERS don’t always like those things – but she is 7 so we do what we can to make sure she doesn’t feel different than other 7 year olds.
NUMBERS everywhere – that is one of the most significant changes in our life – we all revolve around NUMBERS. Allison can add really well now, Ryan and Sammie know the carb counts in all our favorite things like yogurt, pudding and cookies. Everyone knows how to figure out how many carbs in a serving (and how to figure out what a serving size is – some labels are tricky on that one!) Our whole family is learning to add, divide and multiply all the NUMBERS in our life.
I wish I could say her NUMBERS were under control (I get asked that a lot) but I don’t know what that means really yet. She has some days when we don’t have to worry that her NUMBERS are on target and we just go along – she has days when her NUMBERS are completely out of whack and I have NO IDEA why – and trust me I search for reasons for every high and low.
Besides Allison’s basic well being during her day to day the reason we must do all this work each and every day with NUMBERS is to find that all important NUMBER we get when we see the doctor - Allison’s A1C NUMBER. This is the NUMBER of all NUMBERS any diabetic will tell you – the one you stress over before you go to the doctor and the one you stress over after you leave- to either maintain it at its current point or work harder on your daily NUMBERS to make it better.
With all these NUMBERS in our life I find the number that means the most to me is the NUMBER 5. Our family has 5 happy Holdgreve’s that hold hands together with this disease each and every day. We march forward as the Holdgreve 5 each day – helping each other (mostly Allison) deal with this crazy NUMBER’s game.
Until there is a cure,
Jennifer Holdgreve
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