Again I find myself sitting at my computer with a ton of
things to do but I am thinking about the past year and the tears begin to roll
down my cheeks once again. Here is what
I am thinking right now:
- That horrible moment a year ago when the doctor said those words - DIABETES, Type 1 - the fear, the uncertainty, my daughter's health, the change it was going to make in our lives.
- The scary memories over the past year - the "lows" that make your heart skip a beat, the "highs" you don't understand, the caller id showing the school nurse is calling, the moments at 3am when you can't get back to sleep because of the "low" or the "high" and your mind is playing bad tricks on you!
- The sad moments over the past year - my daughter feeling different than others, the tears on my child's face when she just doesn't want to be pricked by a needle AGAIN, the big blue eyes of unfairness when she just can't have that food at this moment.
- The normal memories everyone has - we celebrated all the holiday's, all the birthdays, all the moments in life everyone celebrates - with a "little" difference.
- The moments of wishing for things that will not be possible - those moments when I was praying fiercely to just have my mom back for one moment to hold my hand - to have my life back to where it was - to not have to make the hard choices like setting my career to back burner or letting my kids see their mom at her weakest moment.
- The stresses over the past year of the changes - driving to Baltimore for medical appointments, the idea of sickness in our house, the change from needles to a pump, the cost of medical care and all the medicines needed to maintain my child's health.
- Some are good memories from the past year - watching my daughter just one week after diagnosis back on the baseball field, watching her continue her life without regard to this disease, the support that poured out from my friends and family and all the new friends that have come into my life to hold my hand.
- And the BEST memories EVER - the smiles on all my kid's faces when I see them after school now that I pick them up each day - the laughter I hear from the den as they read a book that makes them chuckle - the loud feet running down the stairs as a friend comes over to play - the hugs and kisses (even from my 8 year old son) that I get every day no matter what. Even though my kids have seen my weaknesses over the past year the best thing to have happened is that my kids have also grown to understand life isn't always fair but with love, laughter, faith and a little hope you can keep on smiling and keep on moving forward.
Now it is your turn!
You are reading this because you have a connection with us
in some way. Someone in your life lives
with this disease, you know us personally or you are just interested in what it is
like to live with this disease as a family - well tell me about it. If you or
someone you love lives with this disease - tell me about them. If you are a
part of our lives and have lived this disease with us over the past year - tell me about it. If you are just reading to learn how we deal and manage this
disease - tell me your thoughts. I am very interested and hope you will take a
moment and leave a comment below that you can share with me and others. Communication
of what we deal has given our family a freedom from this disease I cannot put into words - see if you can feel a little of
that also!
Until there is a cure,
Jennifer Holdgreve
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