November 29, 2011
Tonight was the second meeting of a type 1 diabetic support group for the Eastern Shore of Maryland that we started last month –the best part of my month!
Before Allison’s diagnosis I thought support groups were for people with “issues” – those people that needed help dealing with something they couldn’t deal with – they needed sponsors to keep them on track and safe from themselves – I don’t have any issues or problems that need people to make sure I am not doing bad things to myself!
I have been through some tough times in my life but the support of my family and close friends was always enough to get me through – and I thought, honestly thought, 7 months ago that there was no reason for me to go to a support group. I knew a couple of other parents with kids with diabetes so I had resources and my family and friends are awesome so I will be all good.
Oh, I was VERY wrong. Diabetes is a world unto its own (if you haven’t read any of my other blogs – do and you will understand that statement.) It was helpful knowing people that were going through what I was going through – but I only saw them in passing at school – and I never knew what to ask or say that moment to help me mentally – then summer hit – and everyone went different directions.
I felt lost in a heavy fog – people kept offering me names and phone numbers of people with kids with diabetes – which is wonderful and appreciated – but most of them were not local – and I enjoy a good phone conversation and am fine with electronic communication at times - so I tried that with some – it just wasn’t filling the void I needed.
I heard of a support group in Annapolis, MD – across the Bay Bridge – about 45 minutes or so away, and it was just for parents. I really wanted to go, but I could not find someone to watch my diabetic child that understood how to deal with her needs for me to go except for my husband and he wanted to also attend – what were we to do. I got on the list for the group in hopes one day we could attend and I learned of a meeting that the ADA was holding in Easton - much closer and the date and time worked for us – I could have taken Allison but I didn’t because I wasn’t sure. I met some great people and talked to them about my need for support – and we agreed they would help if I would spearhead – and I was on board.
A month later we were holding our first meeting – and it was fabulous. I couldn’t tell you how awesome I felt after that meeting. Neither I nor Allison needed support because we were going to do something to ourselves but we were the same as these people – our family was the same. We had the same emotions, the same problems, the same feelings, the same questions. It was like I found the kindred spirit in the fog – there they were – the other parents of diabetic kids in my community and Allison got to play and bond with others like her without dealing with the questions or issues. I had such an adrelinie rush after hearing their stories and hearing my concerns were normal and that we were not alone in this. That first meeting was one of the best days of my life since Allison was diagnosed.
Tonight I got that same feeling – we sat around a table together – had a nice simple meal – the kids played and did some Holiday crafts with Allison’s grandma. I learned all about pumps, and lows, and highs and A1C and 504 plans and how others deal with them – and they heard our stories. We didn’t teach each other research or plan out our conversation we just went where we went with questions and issues and topics ranged from my research night with the ADA, about Awareness Month to bake sales for diabetes. I, like after the first meeting, feel like there are people that day in and day out feel just like me and I have people that understand (because they are living it) what I am dealing with.
I appreciate all my friends and family – more than words can express – but their knowledge and attempt of understanding is only that knowledge they cannot truly understand what it is like to be a parent of a child with this disease. These parents and these kids that Allison gets to “hang” with during the meetings – they get me – they get my highs and lows – and they said I will probably cry three times or so a week or a day when Allie starts the pump – the first weeks are hard – they were honest with me – they know – they felt it to – but it relieved me to hear it.
I am now fully supportive of all the support groups that exist – if you have something in your life that few others around you experience start a support group – having one, two, five or ten people around you at least once a month sharing your stories and concerns will give you a high that will last you the whole rest of the month. It will help you stand up and move forward when you think you can’t and they will laugh at things because it is so true and not be concerned you aren't handling it well just because you break down in tears!
Thank you to my support group friends - my lighthouse in the fog - you have become the ones I will carry through my life because our bond will be there forever – I vow to support you as much as you support me – or more if you need it – we will keep up the good fight together!!
Until there is a cure,
Jennifer
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