My day of pure inspiration...........

The spirit that encompasses today – our ride in the Chesapeake Bay Tour de Cure – moves me beyond words could ever express.

We all have so many emotions in our lives – this one day showcases every single emotion I think I could ever have – from great sadness that we are here participating because my daughter has this disease to the overwhelming spirit of the ultimate pride and pure happiness I have in human spirit to overcome something horrible (like diabetes) together.

I found myself last year on the verge of tears all day long –never not once for the sadness of being put in this place in our lives - but for the overwhelming spirit of all those that were present at the event.

Watching my daughter pedal her bike – stopping on occasion for some Gatorade and blood sugar check. Never complaining, smiling the whole way and enjoying every minute!

Seeing my son run his Cub Scouts for a Cure rest stop with such enthusiasm and support for every single rider that came through - knowing he was NEVER thinking of himself – truly unselfish motivation from a 10 year old boy!

The other riders as they passed my daughter shout “go Red Rider!”

Seeing the other Red Riders and being able to shout “go Red Rider!”

The volunteers that were there to support and talk to every person that crossed their path and them thanking us for riding – when they were giving their time to support us.

The sponsors that make this event possible – from the food to the “goody” bags of things that a diabetic might need!

The staff of the Maryland ADA – unwavering advocates that made the day full of FUN and inspiration for everyone.

And all of the friends that came out to see us finish the ride and hear Allison give her speech about her life.

It is another year – and today will be no different – I know I will shed tears of joy today. We will all be there again supporting and lifting each other up - realizing that we are not alone ever . This one day today will last a whole year for us – it will empower us to keep advocating for more research and education and will help us manage the many ups and downs we have in our lives.

So bring on the emotions and tears (I will remember Kleenex this year!) and Let’s Ride!

Until there is a cure,
Jennifer

Having JUST diabetes in our lives.......

Some days I feel like diabetes is all I talk about or all I think about. I know that diabetes is not all my life is about – we have very full lives despite this stupid disease, but since God picked us to deal with it – we do deal with it – every second of every day. In reality we don’t think about it 24/7/365 but it is always there and will never go away unless we do something to change that fact. This is why we do what we do- for our daughter to one day not have to think about it 24/7/365 – for her life – literally.

Recently I was faced with a question that really affected me – all the way down to my core. Why do I bring so much attention to my daughter - she JUST has diabetes. Yup – that hurt – on many levels that hurt  me. Was  I expressing too much to the world, am I putting my daughter in a place she should not be in, am I making to big a deal about having diabetes in our family?  The answer to myself was a big fat NO. So I decided to respond to this person on social media and the response I got from my friends and family showed me that I was not doing anything wrong in my path. I was teaching, I was helping, I was fighting the good fight.

The responses did make me think about how and why I decided two years ago to tackle our lives in the open. I realize everyone does it differently and I never ask anyone else to talk about how they deal with this stupid disease, it is a very personal struggle. If others want or need to share I will be the first one to listen but I have never expected others to be as open as I am, after all my husband even tackles it differently.  My response to the question of why I put my daughter’s disease out there was because if I can help another family not feel alone, if I can help someone not say something stupid to someone dealing with this disease, if I can bring more money towards a cure or if I can help someone save my child’s life in an emergency – I have succeeded.

However, after reading all the responses from my friends and family, I learned that I did not answer the question fully. I showcase all our families UPS and DOWNS because our family needs help. We need support. We need to know that  all of our friends and family – near and far – are there for us. I want them to see and hear how they can, and have, helped our family. That is just basic human nature – to need and be needed. The responses I received made it clear to me that it is not about my need to showcase our lives but to get the much needed support that all humans need when placed into a situation in their lives that they just cannot handle alone. I am not capable of maintaining my sanity on a daily basis with diabetes in our lives without my friends and family.

I also want to help every family diagnosed with this disease – help them realize they can do it – it is hard (I never sugar coat it) but it is doable. If the Holdgreve’s can do it anyone can! But I can only be honest with other families about our ability to handle this disease – because we have help, we have support. We are so lucky to have a network of support near and wide across the entire world. I have definitely learned that every family deals with the diagnosis of this disease (and other diseases) in their own way. My way is to continue our fight for a cure and to help others that are placed onto our path and I am going to do this in the open for all to see. Educating, advocating and keeping the support of my friends and family. Maybe I will teach enough people to not ask a parent with a child with diabetes why they make such a big deal about their kid – it is JUST diabetes.

I have learned from this – I need my village – and I am glad to have one that is always there for me – even if it is JUST diabetes.

Until there is a cure,

Jennifer

P.S. – The person that posed this question to me never responded outwardly but they did send me an apology for not realizing more about the disease – after I sent them a TON of information on having JUST diabetes. So another person educated!

Our world wore blue, and ribbons, and t-shirts and their support for us......

Yesterday was Allison’s 2^nd Diaversary. We spent the day trying to make Allison feel special – instead of different. We succeeded. Why? Because of people that have crossed our path - some recently and some many, many years ago.

I asked a simple thing – wear your support for Allison on May 1. I was amazed, stunned and in awe of the numbers of people that did just that. Yesterday I realized that there are people in our lives – some we talk to often and some we only catch up with only now and then – that are with us in this fight for a better life for Allison.

I thought yesterday was going to be hard for me. I thought I would be full of tears thinking of the past – what it was like for us two years ago, all we lost in that moment, missing our “old” life.  Our world proved me wrong. I had tears in my eyes frequently yesterday – but they were tears of from my heart not being able to contain how much LOVE there is in our  world.

From the sea of blue worn in honor of Allison at her school – to the picture of large groups gathered from old and new groups of friends.  There was picture after picture of people wearing their support and many notes from those that did not have access to a camera that they were indeed wearing their support of Allison and it went on all day!

May 1 isn’t an official National or World Diabetes Awareness day – but it is OUR Diabetes Awareness Day. It was on May 1 that we became aware of this disease and all the misconceptions and misinformation there is about it. May 1 is Holdgreve Diabetes Awareness Day and on this May 1 I was shown that over the past two years we have made others aware of what it is and aware of the need for a cure and better management of this silent disease.

I have more inspiration now – I won't be taking it purely from my amazing daughter – it comes from every single person that took a moment out of their lives yesterday and thought about her and others that they know that suffer from type  1 diabetes . I am inspired to keep moving forward and focus on the future and only learn from the past. 

Yesterday wasn't about about raising money (that is needed and important – no research is free) but about supporting each other in whatever way you can – and wearing blue, a ribbon, a t-shirt supporting diabetes awareness – and telling the world and Allison you did it – that was priceless.

Until there is a cure,

Jennifer

Here are only two of the MANY photos from May 1--