January 9, 2013
Today there was a post by a friend on Facebook that is
really hurting a little bit but ringing true to me right now.
Here is the quote:
“Everything you do is based on
choices you make. It’s not your parents,
your relationships, your job, the economy, the weather, an argument or your age
that is to blame. You and only you are responsible for every decision and
choice you make.”
Over the past year and a half I have blamed diabetes for
EVERYTHING in my life. It completely changed my life and I have lived for the
past year and half blaming it and making it the thing that is running my life
and therefore making all my life choices for me.
I made decisions such as limiting my work load and doing things
close to home (therefore forfeiting a well paying job that gave me purpose)
because I thought it was I needed to do because of diabetes. It was my choice.
I can say I had the BEST summer of my life last year though with my kids but
what did I give up with that choice.
The quote is right. It wasn’t and isn’t diabetes that has me
where I am today. It is me. I currently may not like a lot of the aspects of my
situation, but it is in my power to change what I don’t like. Yes I am working
on making those changes – so don’t be surprised one day when you hear what I am
doing next!
I have unfortunately been blaming diabetes too long now for
my choices. I am going to stop wondering where I would be now if diabetes hadn’t
crashed my party. It is a part of our lives and one I have to accept – that too
is a choice I have to make.
So here you go – my choice is to not let diabetes run my
life – or my daughter’s life – any longer. I will do everything in my power to
be a part of the cure and education of others, I will help my daughter manage
it day and day out (because I want my daughter to live) BUT it will not make decisions
for me anymore. I will not forfeit my life or happiness for this horrible
monster any longer.
Note to my friends: Remind me of this the next time I am not motivating
myself in the right direction!
Until there is a cure,
Jennifer Holdgreve
